Thursday 21 June 2012

Tony Song

Tony Song. Tony Song.

Finally getting to meet
I loved the sound of that tuneful name.

It appeared everywhere on the Cancer Research cancerchat forum when I visited for the first time at the beginning of 2010.

I stumbled across the site whilst sitting at home with my baldy head, on the sick from work. At first, I didn't contribute at all. I just read a few of the posts, looked at a few of the replies and clicked through the various headings. 'Symptoms, Testing and Diagnosis...' 'Coping with Cancer....'

I never clicked on 'Dying with Cancer,' though.  I was too afraid to look in that room. The door stayed firmly shut.

It became clear to me very quickly that cancer chat was quite a remarkable place. It was an anonymous place where people would post questions, write about their worries and their fears. It was a place where people could discuss cancer issues without worrying their family, with friendly strangers who did have an idea how they were feeling - offering genuine words of comfort and plenty of decent advice.

Tony Song. Tony Song. There were plenty of other regulars, but he was everywhere. He seemed to be the 'meeter and greeter' of cancer chat.

His replies were warm, welcoming, sometimes humourous and always reassuring. He wrote beautifully and honestly - somehow turning his words into something very tangible and real. I imagined many of those he conversed with on cancer chat feeling like they'd received a much needed hug.

When I finally plucked up the courage to post on cancer chat, it didn't take long before the man himself said 'hi.' I think I'd mentioned somewhere how 'blogging' had helped me cope with my cancer journey. He posted enthusiastically claiming that he too had a blog. We swapped links...and that was it, we became blogging buddies.

Before long, we were joined by 3 other bloggers from the cancer chat site. Dizzie (Carole) , Harryeleri (Rose) and Cybershot (David). We all still contributed to the cancer chat forum (myself less so) but together, we formed a wonderful but sadly brief, collective friendship as the 'Blogger 5.'

Our blogs gave us the opportunity to offer each other a HUGE amount of support. And I like to think that for each of us, on our individual cancer journeys, this support meant the world. I know it did to me.

David, Rose, Carole and Tony. My cyber friends.

Over the coming months, cancer finally took these people away. First David, then Rose.

In January of this year, I travelled to London to visit Carole - meeting her for the 2nd time in 'real life.' This time, we were to be joined by Tony. Neither of us had met him in real life, but when he finally arrived after his epic car journey with a tray full of doughnuts, it was as if we'd known him forever.

Carole, Tony and me in Jan 2012
I will never forget that very special day. Chatting and laughing- like old friends.

But then cancer finally managed to take Carole in March....and now Tony this month.

The 'Dying with Cancer' door had to be opened by all 4 of my friends, and they all did this so bravely.
I am the only one remaining from our gang of 5. The Blogger 5.

I am healthy, I am fit and I am happy. I am also very grateful and thankful to be so.

I don't feel like I have 'lost' my friends. They are no longer here in person, but they are certainly with me in spirit, and I like to think of all 4 of them together somewhere, keeping an eye on me.

Tony Song. I still think of his name as this rather than his real name - Tony Songhurst. 'Don't forget to see if his name really is on the back of his head,' said my 8 year old before I set off for London that day to meet him for the first time.

Tony's profile pic on Facebook

I must admit, I did look. But it wasn't there, much to the 8 year old's disappointment.

Tony Song. Tony Song. His tuneful name may not really be shaved into the back of his head, but along with David's, Rose's and Carole's -  it is definitely etched into my heart, and will be forever.

11 comments:

  1. Thankyou so much that is really a lovely tribute to them all !!!! xxxx Tony,s mum .....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you're all doing ok Ann. I was very sad to have missed Tonys service - I wouldve liked to have been there but I enjoyed reading your description of it. It sounded perfect, and it was obviously very well attended. I will miss Tony and his wise words, but I'm so glad I'm in touch with his mum now :) Please send my love to all the family xxx

      Delete
  2. Beautiful moving words

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lisa what a lovely tribute to Tony, also Carole, David and Rose, i hope they are all together somewhere remembering all the good times, I know all your friendships made a big difference to my Carole and she would have been so sad at Tony`s passing away.Lots of Love xx Dorothy

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Dorothy,
    I hope you're all doing ok. I think about Carole often, and about her lovely family.
    I also like to think of her reunited with the others somewhere keeping an eye on us all :)
    It's a comforting thought.

    Please say hi to that gorgeous family of yours. Especially Dj and rab. I hope theyre getting along alright.
    It's nice that Sarah is enjoying being back in Rhodes. At least she has some sunshine there which is more than we've got here at the moment!!

    Take care and much love xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a really lovely tribute to our tony and the others i know it meant a lot to him meeting you and carole and her family !! missing him so much but really does help knowing that he touched so many peoples hearts xxx jane tonys little sis x take care xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jane

      I hope all is well with you.
      Much love
      Lisa x

      Delete
  6. Dear shents,

    Im Chris, rose's son. Its been a year June since my mum passed away and I log on to her cancer chat site every couple of months if i want a reminder of the kind things people said when she passed away.
    I know i never met any of the four of you '5' and only discovered all of your friendship with my mum after she died, but ive just shed a tear after finding through your site, of the passing of Tony Carole and David.

    Thank you for remembering my wonderful mum in your words above and my thoughts are with you and the families of Tony, Carole and David.

    Chris

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Chris - Its lovely to hear from you.
      I think about Rose often, and will never forget her kindness, humour, and friendship. I only wish I could have met your mum in person - but strangley, through all the cancer chat and blog correspondence, I really did feel like I had. She was a wonderful lady.

      I did get to meet Carole and Tony in person back in January in London. It was the last day that Carole felt vaguely 'normal' as after we left she started to decline - battling bravely until March when she passed away peacefully at her local hospice. I managed to get to her funeral which was held at Epping Forest. It was a beautiful place and a lovely service with very comforting words from her elsest son James. It was good to meet all her family, and I'm still in touch with some of them through Facebook etc. They are all coping and getting on with life without her - but I know its difficult for all of them.

      Tony passed away a little later - again, peacefully in his local hospice. I am in touch with his mum on Facebook.

      Tony, David, Carole and your mum were so amazing on the forum. I very rarely go on there now as I feel I must move away from 'cancer,' as part of my own recovery. There are new amazing people on there now. Cancer chat is an extraordinary place.

      My blog has also come to a bit of a standstill since the passing of my friends. If you explore the blog a bit, you will see how much your mum and my blogger friends contributed to it with their lovely comments. I find it hard to write now, without them out there listening - but at some stage, I'll start again.

      Chris - I'll start again from the beginning - it is lovely that you have popped by to leave a message. Thank you. Your mum was incredibly special to me and to many others that she never met. In her comments, especially on blog posts about my kids, she would often speak about her own family - remembering little moments that had made her smile, or that had made her proud over the years. She clearly adored you all, and she knew how much you all adored her.

      Take care, Chris - and please send love to the rest of the family.

      Much love

      Lisa (Shents)

      Delete
  7. MY NAME IS MARIAM BAURICE FROM SOUTH AFRICA...I SAW THIS COMMENT ON POSITIVE BLOGS AND I WILL LOVE TO TELL EVERY BODY HOW MY STATUS CHANGES TO NEGATIVE, AND AM NOW A LIVING WITNESS OF IT AND I THINK ITS A SHAME ON ME IF I DON'T SHARE THIS LOVELY STORY WITH OTHER PEOPLE INFeCTED WITH THIS DEADLY VIRUS...,HIV HAS BEEN ONGOING IN MY FAMILY... I LOST BOTH PARENTS TO HIV,. AND IT IS SO MUCH PAIN IVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET OVER.. AS WE ALL KNOW MEDICALLY THERE IS NO SOLUTION TO IT..AND MEDICATION IS VERY EXPENSIVE..SO SOMEONE INTRODUCED ME TO A NATIVE MEDICAL PRACTITIONER IN AFRICA..I HAD A JOB THERE TO EXECUTE SO I TOOK TIME TO CHECK OUT ON HIM.I SHOWED HIM ALL MY TESTS AND RESULTS.. I WAS ALREADY DIAGNOSED WITH HIV AND IT WAS ALREADY TAKING ITS TOWL ON ME.. I HAD SPENT THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS SO I DECIDED TO TRY HIM OUT...I WAS ON HIS DOSAGE FOR 3 WEEKS. ALTHOUGH I DIDNT BELIEVE IN IT, I WAS JUST TRYING IT OUT OF FRUSTRATION... AND AFTER 2 WEEKS, I WENT FOR NEW TESTS... AND YOU WONT BELIEVE THAT 5 DIFFERENT DOCTORS CONFIRMED IT THAT AM NEGATIVE..IT WAS LIKE A DREAM,,I NEVER BELIEVE AIDS HAS CURE..AM NOW NEGATIVE,,AM A LIVING WITNESS..I DONT KNOW HOW TO THANK THIS MAN... I JUST WANT TO HELP OTHERS IN ANY WAY I CAN..HAVE JOINED MANY FORUMS AND HAVE POSTED THIS TESTIMONIES AND ALOT OF PEOPLE HAS MAIL AND CALLED THIS MAN ON PHONE AND AFTER 2 MONTHS THEY ALL CONFIRMED NEGATIVE..BBC NEWS TOOK IT LIVE AND EVERY.. HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT.. EVERYBODY SAW IT AND ITS NOW OUT IN PAPERS AND MAGAZINES THAT THERE'S NATIVE CURE FOR HIV AND ALL WITH THE HELP OF THIS MAN,,HAVE TRIED MY OWN PARTS AND ALL LEFT WITH YOU,,IF YOU LIKE TAKE IT OR NOT..GOD KNOWS HAVE TRIED MY BEST.ABOUT 97 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED NEGATIVE THROUGH ME..AND THEY SEND MAILS TO THANKS ME AFTER THEY HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED NEGATIVE,,THIS MAN IS REAL..DON'T MISS THIS CHANCE,,HIV IS A DEADLY VIRUS,,GET RID OF IT NOW..

    case there is anyone who has similar problem and still

    looking for a way out, and he those cast all kind of spell like ::

    Love Spells

    Luck, Money Spells

    Health, Well Being

    Protection, Healing

    Curses, Hex, Breakups

    NEW! Combo Spells

    High Priestess Spells

    Vampire Spells

    Authentic Voodoo Spells

    Custom, Other Spells

    Business spells

    Health/Healing spells

    Curse removal

    Job spells

    Healing from all kind of diseases

    Love binding

    Barrenness(need a child)

    Need love

    Lottery Spells

    Promotions

    Success

    Money rituals

    winning court case

    Divorce spells

    Low sperm count

    Infertility in women

    Breast enlargement/reduction

    Penis enlargement/reduction

    YOU CAN CONTACT HIM HERE AS (spirituallighthealing101@live.com or (518) 303-6207) if you need any question contact me via here as mariambaurice@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete